Transformation Series Part III: The Abyss
Sometimes, despite our best efforts to cope with the loss experienced through change, the space created can feel like a black hole. This space feels seemingly endless, void of emotion or meaning, and unbelievably lonely. We are faced with the notion that we are utterly alone in our journey and that no one can truly understand what we are going through. We may feel the urge to retreat to the old ways of doing things or connect with people from our past because toxic or draining is, at the very least, familiar. We can become attached to the idea that we may not find connections as deep, or a lifestyle as exciting, as those we are moving away from. This is fear. This is a scarcity mindset. This is your Ego, the voice of can’t/not worthy/not good enough.
As we evolve and grow, our Ego fights back and works to protect us from the unknown. When we submit to Ego, we fall right back into our old way of thinking and doing and never rise to the occasion to create the life we are worthy of living. Being ruled by Ego means we are leading a life ruled by fear. It takes courage to talk back to this voice and begin courageously stepping into the unknown and embracing The Abyss. When we ask Ego to take a backseat, we realize the truth; The Abyss is a place of limitless possibility.
When we shift our scarcity mindset to an infinite outlook, suddenly the world turns right side up. We realize the feelings of emptiness and loneliness are our Ego’s way of making sense of this infinite space of possiblity. We realize leading with fear is clouding the way forward. When we shift to the positive, the Universe has our back and the New can finally begin to take shape.
Ways to Welcome the New:
Reminding yourself moments of fear are part of being human. Allow it to pass, remind yourself you are worthy of this path, focus on the infinite potential in-front of you.
Bring more focus to the areas of your life that bring you joy. What we give our attention to grows.
Rather than working to control your world, accept The Abyss as an opportunity to manifest rather than build. When we try to bend the Universe in the direction we THINK we want, by building with a narrow vision, we miss what is truly meant for us. Look for signs, listen to your inner voice… that gut instinct is pointing you in the right direction.
Fear in the The Abyss is a temporary state. This will pass, the Universe has your back, trust that there is an even greater plan.
Love & Light,
Sarah
Transformation Series Part II: Coping With Loss Through Change
When moving through change, we are inevitably faced with loss. Loss of friends, places, material possessions, loss of our old self… Coping with the loss of what no longer serves us is a key component of moving successfully and gracefully through a transformative phase. We have to allow ourselves to feel the pain of these things leaving our life and fill those holes with love, light, and authenticity. This is not an easy task. Loss is painful, lonely, and can leave us feeling empty and afraid of our newness. Here are some mindful ways to cope with loss through change:
Filling New Open Spaces with Love
When we begin to shed our layers we are acutely aware of the spaces that are left empty within us. It is incredibly important to fill these empty spaces with love as we work to slowly, eventually fill them with activities, passions, beliefs, and people that are in line with the life we are creating for ourselves. Remind yourself that you are loved, protected, and guided on every step in your journey. Practice self-love by beginning and ending your day with positive mantras and reminders of all the wonderful qualities that make you who you are. Buy yourself flowers. Give your inner-child a hug. Take a bath. Go to a yoga class. Take a moment to check in with the inner you and honor what you find there. Know that you are surrounded by love, despite the temporary feelings of loss. This will pass.
Remind Yourself Where You’re Going
As we move through the stages of loss we become so distracted by our grief and pain that we often forget where we are going! Always allow yourself to feel what comes up for you, cry when you need to, practice self-care, and honor these emotions. However, within this space, it is equally as important to remind yourself of your WHY. Why are you taking steps to release elements in your life that are no longer serving you? Why did you begin this journey in the first place? What painful parts are you leaving behind? How will your life be happier, healthier, and more beautifully you because of these changes? What do you see for yourself at the end of this transformative period? Create a vision board. Make a list. Find a way to remind yourself of where you are going. This helps us to maintain excitement and hope even in moments when we are at the height of grieving what we are letting go.
Celebrate Space Being Created
When we are experiencing significant change, we create space within ourselves and within our life. This space is brimming with potential to be filled with anything and everything exquisitely, unequivocally you! The opportunity to create a life that is built on a foundation of authenticity and inner-truth is exciting! Celebrate this! Remind yourself that you are giving yourself the gift of living your life for YOU, without the interference of others expectations or the noise of their opinions. Celebrate your strength in creating change and participating fully in your life. You are made of magic. You are creating on opportunity for your life to reflect that.
~Sarah
Transformation Series Part I: Confronting Fear
Growth is a challenging thing. It’s painful and frustrating and scary. When we are confronted with an opportunity for growth we often find ourselves in a holding pattern. And, whether we care to admit this to ourselves or not, it is most often because we are afraid. In order to move through this heavy cloud of fear, we have to acknowledge it, confront it, and, eventually, make the decision to walk through it. What are we afraid of? Are we fearful of how dark it might get while we are moving through this shift? Are we afraid of the unknown? Fear of loss? Fear of failing? Take a moment to pause. What automatic thought comes forward for you? Name it. Acknowledge it. Know that it is okay to be afraid. If we aren’t afraid, we aren’t growing.
Acknowledging the Fear
What comes up for you when you name your fear? What emotion do you feel? Where is it resting within your body? Is it manifesting as an ache or chronic pain? Who do you think of? Are you feeling guilt or shame? Take a moment to name your fear, feel it in your body, notice what it brings up for you. As you do this, honor whatever arises with gentleness, love, and compassion. What you are feeling is valid, allow it to flow through you, and know this too shall pass.
Confronting the Fear
We’ve honored the experience of being afraid, and allowed that to flow through us, now is the time to confront the emotion and pain. Is it serving you to remain stagnant, and resist transformation, coming from a place of anxiety and apprehension? Do you want to continue to exist in your current state or are you seeking expansion and growth? Are you ready to release what no longer serves you? What could you gain by taking the first step towards change? Will you let fear stand in the way? It’s easy to give snap-judgment answers here. Of course you want to grow! Of course you won’t let fear stand in the way! But, what will you do when fear joins you unexpectedly on your path? What happens when it gets dark and you begin to yearn for “the old way?” Meditate, journal, draw, move… take some time to reflect on these questions. Allow ego to fade away and truly listen to your inner voice. When we take a moment to check-in with our higher selves, we can be sure we are working in line with what is best for us and make decisions from a grounded, authentic place.
Making the Decision
Making the decision to walk into what makes us afraid is not easy, even if we are leaving behind what no longer serves us. We are programmed to run, freeze, or fight when we feel threatened. We are not conditioned to calmly walk into the storm. You are not alone in this journey. Know that many others are walking a parallel path and have their moments of feeling just as afraid, just as alone, and just as uncertain as you feel in this moment. You are more powerful than your fear; allow it to be a companion on your journey. Use fear as a tool to fuel your inner strength and desire the transform. You are the creator of your own destiny. Take the first step.
~ Sarah